Reach OUT

Recovery

I have found myself  like "7" days ago on the road to recovery. Its hard, scary no fun. However I continue to find my way through and I hope you will to. No one likes to talk about relapses. The truth is relapses are just as real and need just as much attention as our success'. 

I  relapsed and it wasn't one of those relapses where I really could even identify the cause of my depression and. I noticed that I began to withdraw, I didn't  want to be around my family. I ironically found myself not wanting to talk but also needed too... all at the same time.

I am very grateful for my family and friends, they are able to identify the  signs of my depression. They saved me by reaching out because they know about my cutting and my signs of depression. I am usually a  happy, go lucky person most of the time they were able to recognize my pain.

This was no excuse not  to reach out, the difference was having that someone I love,  see me, or hear me and automatically know that uh-oh "SOMETHINGS UP" ....."SOMETHINGS WRONG".

It is soooo important that we allow the people that care for us to support us emotionally. Success are great, victories are awesome and being on top of the world is undoubtedly amazing,...But "What's success when your're in agony and can't find a face of companion and Compassion"......RIGHT

All I'm saying is have your family or supoort and knowing your signs makes a difference... just please please REACH OUT for HELP

Suicide is real... Depression is real... relapses do exist.

Reach out, and reach to those that cacn support. Inspite of how you'l think they will feel.If you do not have someone who you can call on in the face of depression then definitly began to identify friends or faces who you can rely on. Even if its the Suicide Hotline. 1-800-273-8255

REACHING OUT MAKES YOU STRONG...REACHING OUT MAKES YOU A FIGHTER. IT STRIPS NOTHING NOR ANY OF YOUR ROLES IN SOCIETY AND ULTIMATELY IT CAN HELP SAVE LIVES.

No Matter What Alway Reach Out

Love,

Dj

Telling Your Story

I have often seen so many people who A. Were afraid to tell their story or B. Learning to tell their story or C. Were FREAKING  amazing at telling their story.

I have spent probably the last 4 years trying to figure out how  to no longer be the newbie on the block in my story telling and I have also watched myself grasp at the reality that I could one day  be absolutely amazing at it. 

............

Then I think about my story and all that is encompased in it... Adoption, Loss, Change, Laughter, Foster Care, Growth, Beauty, and Shame and then as i think of the many situations that have made up my world ..... there's something that while I still fear I am equally amazed and excited. Simply becasue I know that as I tell the stories of my many many experiences, as I share with others and give myself the freedom to express it... as I give myself the freedom to speak it..... to own it....to walk in it with boldness, strentngh and gratefulness so will  I encourage others to do the same.

How DO YOU Tell your story?

I have to give a great amount of Gratitude to my former co-workers at the UMFS Tidewater and Richmond office..... During my time as a Youth Network Coordinator my plan was never to actually tell my foster care story, let alone my adoption story... However my coworkers were like yeah you would be great...... lol you got this. Less than 3 months into my job I was offered an oppurtunity to tell my story and on video. I was excited and so nervous... BUT I did it... and while I left out a large part of my childhood, and while I started and stopped multiple times, and kicked my but during during the shoot. The end product was pretty amazing. That was my first time telling my story and being truly guided into the world of speaking while also speaking my truth.... I smile at the journey now... I often stumbled over my words. In meetings I found myself feeling insecure. BUT the more I had to speak the better I got.  

One of my many Mama's Romania sat with me  during a 3 week process of a second video shoot and after we had finished shooting I was terrified of letting the sexual abuse be revealed to others. I told her that I was not ready for the world to see.... She was not happy about it, yet I waited 6 months before I gave her the go head to release the video. 

It changed my world... It truly allowed me to see the power that my story held and continues to hold.

What I learned is that you tell your story as best as you can. The more you speak it the more you heal. Secondly we can either A. Learn to tell our story through the tears laughter and pain and through OUR TRUTHS or we can allow others to tell it and fail in giving Our Stories JUSTICE. 

Tell your story

Even if t takes months, wether through writing, peotry, art, music, or dance...

Tell it..

Give your story the JUSTICE it deserves..... and encourage others to do the same.

D.j