Mom? Dad? Grandma? Grandad? 

As a child I had no idea of the true definition of these words and roles meant. 

(I had a two people that played the role of a mother and father, keyword #Played) They didn't know what they were doing. (Nicley put)

Now as an adult and mother

I don't want that for either of my children. Kylah and Kahlen both deserve to know their mommy, daddy and family. Who we are? What we do? And most importantly know how much we love them. 

Right now my daughter is in a place where she is asking.

Who is Mom? Right now my daughter does not know who here mother is. She is struggling greatly. (I gave custody to a lady who was supposed to be helping me and my daughter. She allowed us to move in and wanted to file for custody of Kylah. I thought she was filing for me. When she had me sign the paperwork she had her name in the spot to receive custody. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to make her upset.  

When we went to court for the hearing that morning she knew i didn't want to give her custody. So she she said Kylah and myself had 30 days to be out of her home. I had no where to go so I gave in. 

Soon after I left for Jobcorp not knowing that would pretty much be the end of my relationship for two years with my daughter.)

With an amzing team and lawyer we are having regular visitation.  Yet she s doesn't understand who I am . Refusing to explain who I am to my daugther, Ashley(her guardian), has her call me Ms. Devitta, which is dead wrong. Kylah has told me that there is a guy their that she calls dad, who really isn't her father.

So again

Who is Mom? Who is Dad?

..........

We have a long road ahead of us, but as time goes on she will know my role in her life. More importantly that I love her and that I fought for her.

She will know her Mom is

Gratefully I have adoption and foster care to thank for that.
Its helped me want more for my children. It has shown me how critical it is to support, love, encourage, and fight for my children.

It is so important that while we educate our children on the meaning of family while it can be both biological and nonbiological that they also are aware and know

I think sometimes people don't know from experience what it means to be in a place where you don't know mom and dad.

"The real deal"

I used to always say that I would never ever get adopted again. I definitely succeeded in that goal but I still wonder had things gone differently would my decision be the same.

But, if things had gone differently I wouldn't have neertaded to be removed in the first place.

The truth is, is that it still STINGS.....BUT

.........OVERALL I am very content with who I have in my life. I get a little uneasy when it cones to where exactly I am. I think my experiences as a child have helped  me to mature into a better person all around.

This has all been written  in a mentorish, sophisticated manor.

In my not sophisticated manor I would say that "I knew I would never get adopted again. I was not going to allow it. You would have to kill me first. Sad but True

"From then to now"

As I have had a wonderful  time to sit and enjoy the presence  of my bio-family.  My mother, sisters, brother and niece. I can't  help but think back to when  I was living with my adopted family  and made the request  to meet my biological  mother.  I remember  the response  I received  as well.  It was not how or what I expected  it to be.  Looking back at the time it really hurt me.  My adopted  mothers response  was " Have I not been good enough" She really felt offended. (In which she shouldn't  have there was no relationship  between us. Nor any acts of love ever shown).  It was not my intentions to make her feel that way.  So out of respect  for her feelings I told her never-mind and that I didn't  want to meet my biological  mother. That was a lie.  I still did want to meet her.  Luckily  I was able to.  Once I turned 18 my mother consented  to meeting me.  The journey  in the beginning  of our reunification  season was hard.  It was difficult to attach myself and to know what to expect  and how to feel.  Over the course  of 3 years which included tears, frustration, anger, resentment  and I myself believe  a bit of guilt we have been able to grow and to have a respect  for one another.  I love my mother and am blessed  to have her in my life.  This journey  have been one hell of a ride.  However  sitting  where I am now.  I wouldn't  change  it for the world.





There is a special  love for my mother that she may never understand. A love that  in the beginning  I didn't  have and wasn't  sure if I would ever have.  I am proud  of who that she is her love, her strength  and her ability to inspire others.

Family  is everything  and something special whether  biological  or not but having your biological family is something  worth a thousand  words.

From then to not know who or what a mother was to having my biological  mother and others mother figures all I can say is that it's  been a ride worth staying on.

My children having  the ability  to know  there family means so much to me and the truth is had I not had the childhood  I've had,  I honestly  would not appreciate  my biological  mother or any other mother figure neither the relationships that I have formed with my biological family and non- biological family.

All those who want to know and a relationship  with your biological  family know that its possible. It's hard but it's worth it. It something special. If you can build with  your biological  family its something you will never regret.  Possibly  in the beginning but once you get past that part the possibilities for your family and reunification  are endless.

How can a better job be done in placing Foster children with safe foster parents

Honestly:

Not all foster parents aren't  bad however, there are currently  foster parents  that do not need to be in that position.  More importantly  how do we assure that future foster parents are better assessed.

Feel free to leave feedback both constructive criticism and encouragement.

"Looking back in"

Good evening everyone

Today I was thinking about what it means to be on the outside looking in. I've recently met a young lady in Foster Care and for some odd odd reason.  I expected to sit down and to be able to really talk with her about who she was what she felt and what it is like for her in Foster Care.  (That assumption I am sure was out of pure excitement  on my end.  However but wasn't  thought through at all very well).

Honestly:
After meeting the young lady and having dinner. I was kind of disappointed  that was Monday and this morning  I thought to myself  literally  (Devitta she doesn't  know you and even though you know your intentions she doesn't).

I thought back when I went into Foster Care and even when I was first removed  from my adopted family.  It was no easy transition and I was far from open.  I wasn't  sure who to trust and even who I could talk to. Nor was I sure how I would be treated.  I wasn't  sure what to expect  from anyone at that point.  So how could I expect  that of anyone else? 

I was amazed at how I didn't  consider the circumstance of how she may feel or may not feel from the beginning  rather than after. 

Either Way:
I am glad that I had the experience  

I now have a thought to take with me the next time that get the opportunity  to meet a young individual in care I must be mindful and thank things through a little more. 

Feel free to leave feedback both constructive  criticism  as well as encouragement.

Me, New Beginnings, Foster CARE CONNECTD

Who and Why:
My name is Devitta
I am a former adoptee, and a former foster
Nothing special about it other than the fact 
That  it has changed the way I see life, Foster Care and my future. 
I was broken while adopted and when placed into care
I began to grow 
And become whole

I am not completely  whole
But coming together 


I want to write on who I am, my story, and the beautiful  places it has taken me to as well as the valleys that I have landed in as result . It will allow me to be transparent, and speak through a place of NEW BEGINNINGS. 

My Goal is to CONNECT with FOSTER CARE youth and alumni and educate others who are not familiar  with the Foster Care system.

Honestly:
I am limited in the ways that I can do advocacy  due to my chaotic schedule  but I am wanting to participate in advocacy  more and more. Foster Care Connect blogg through ChildrenSTS will give me the opportunity  to do so. 

Feel free to give feedback both constructive criticism  as well as encouragement  😄


Thanks